190724

Joke of the Day

"pirate joke I saw a pirate walking down the street and he had a paper towel on his head so I said ""what's with the paper towel."" he said ""arrgh got a Bounty on me head."""

"two gay blokes are preparing to go away on a holiday... one says to the other, ""want me to pack your shit?"""

"Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks."

"One of the reasons for the low number of female pilots has been found to be.. the cockpit !"

"What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I cry when I cut up onions"

"Women don't deserve to be paid as much as men and should stay in the kitchen. I'd go on, but that's the misogyngist of it."

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Dam."

"I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate."

"When I woke up this morning, the garbage disposal was making a funny noise. Turns out he was just masturbating in the next room."

"A penny lies below the cliff where a jew and black man jumps from, who wins? We don't have enough information to conclude who's likely to win"