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Joke of the Day
"I only had a few friends before I got on Twitter. Now I don't have any."
Next Joke
"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"
"Italian names sound delicious. Even Mussolini, sounds like a fried cheese that ends up oppressing your digestive process. #Italians"
"I made an app that tells you were people with dwarfism are at all times. I can't be the only one thinking of the imp-locations."
"Looking for a +1 for my wedding."
"Nothing seems longer than the few seconds spent trying to shut off unwanted background music that starts playing on a website."
"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike."
"An apple a day..... Causes job shortages in the hospital. Have a burger instead!"
"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees (boobies)"
"What do you call a president crossing the road? A presidestrian"