145897

Joke of the Day

"Italian names sound delicious. Even Mussolini, sounds like a fried cheese that ends up oppressing your digestive process. #Italians"

"bought a box of 100 crickets from the pet store and released them back into the ocean were they belong"

"I wish my girlfriend would stop confusing my chivalry for chauvinism... Pssh... fucking women."

"My friend says that I've lost touch with reality but I told the pillow, that was absurd and to lower his voice before he woke the avocado."

"A Roman walks into a bar He holds two fingers up to the barman and says ""five beers please"""

"I'm gonna color my hair ... or dye tryin'"

"Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn't cute."

"How do you know when someone smokes weed? Dont worry, they'll tell you."

"What else happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra? His hands get bigger."

"You know why birds sing in the mornings? Because they don't have to go to fucking work"