204726

Joke of the Day

"Based on how he reacts, you'd think my dog's entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys."

"The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss."

"When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head."

"I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up. I just couldn't see my ass there."

"Y'know I hear the N-word a hundred times a day... I need to stop yelling it at black people."

"Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities."

"What's the name of that movie about the war horse? War Biscuit"

"Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil It only cost him a Penny"

"I know that I have an attitude problem But I just don't care"

"How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway."