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Joke of the Day

"''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''"

"Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!"

"Did you hear, there's no more ice in Poland? The old lady with the recipe died..."

"Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: ""woof"""

"Doctor: Sir, I have two bad news for you The first is that you have 48 hours before you die -And the second one? :'( I should have told you yesterday"

"Why is milk so fast? Because it's pasteurized before you see it!"

"What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"A hungry termite walks into a pub.. And yells, Is the bar tender here?!?'"

"I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez."

"My IQ score says I'm intelligent. My dating history disagrees."