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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear, there's no more ice in Poland? The old lady with the recipe died..."

"""Life Lesson: Never under any circumstance should you compliment a woman on her mustache, no matter how impressive it may be."""

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate... And I can picture us invading that world because they'd never see it coming."

"I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer."

"WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies"

"who said that girls don't have a good sense of direction? they sure know their way down."

"What did the intellectual neckbeard say to his buddy when he was asked about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight? I've never heard of that court case."

"Why did the pig run away from the pig sty? He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted."

"I hate graph jokes... Because I can never get the point."

"The Duke ordered his subjects not to dig tunnels beneath his land but the King gave them permission to do so, He felt undermined."