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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor say to the infertile Princess Bride? Inconceivable!"

"My girlfriend's dad just gave me the green light. Which was very generous, but I don't find him sexy."

"TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family"

"The mall crowd parts as I shuffle through after waking up naked on the food court floor. ""Too pudgy to be a terminator"" says one woman."

"Tomorrow is bring your hangover to work day."

"Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat."

"Chuck Norris Once roundhouse kicked a horse in the jaw, thus creating the giraffe."

"You can make jokes about anything; just not Mexicans. That's crossing the border."

"From all the butts, ours is the most important."

"There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you."