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Joke of the Day

"Lets play army Want to play army? I can lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."

"I went to see my Coincidental Hygenist the other day. Turns out she was one of my friends from high school."

"What do you call it when Al Capone goes camping? Criminal intent."

"Viagra thieves did you hear about the viagra thieves? The cops are looking for a group of hardened criminals"

"Just once I'd like to wake up as eager to start the day as my p*nis is."

"Autocorrect is like being drunk: You only realise what it did after you have left a bad impression."

"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by noon..."

"What you call a penis that doesn't satisfy a woman? Yours"

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"