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Joke of the Day
"Any salad can be a Caesar salad. If you stab it enough."
Next Joke
"Expected delivery while I was out so left courier a note saying ""Please leave with neighbour"". I've just seen them heading off together."
"[England 1320] ""Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows."" *waits 6 months* ""K"""
"I bet when you barge in on a chicken rapist and say ""Guess what!?"" they really mean it when they say ""Chicken butt."""
"[God creating beards] ADAM: God, I don't like my face. GOD: Tell ya what, buddy: I'll cover it in pubes. ADAM: What? That's not GOD: Done."
"Q: Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? A: Because it was too cold out tide."
"All of my suspicions are sneaking around."
"What's Jian Ghomeshi's favorite vegetable? Artichoke."
"Whats black,white,black,white,black,white,red? A nun falling down the stairs on her period."
"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."