198202

Joke of the Day

"What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale? The Juan who lived."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" i havent decided yet ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"" i still need a few more mins with the menu you are a really terrible waiter"

"Do you like your new baby sister? She's all right. Do you play with her? No and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, I have that vinyl at home."

"So I read the dictionary the other day. Turns out the zebra did it."

"A pessimist, optimist and feminist Optimist: The glass is half full Pessimist: The glass is half empty Feminist: The glass is raped"

"Our teacher talks to herself does yours ? Yes but she does't realise it she thinks we're actually listening !"

"""Bear with me for a minute."" - Russian guy providing an airtight alibi for his criminal bear friend."

"Jesus wasn't angry at the soldiers who crucifixed him He was just crossed."

"Is that sick enough for you?! I man calls in sick to work. His boss thinks he sounds fine so he says, ""You don't sound sick."" Man, ""IM FUCKING MY SISTER! IS THAT SICK ENOUGH FOR YOU!?"""