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Joke of the Day

"What is Donald Trump thinking? Who is going to build the wall if we deport all the Mexicans?"

"I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!"

"Jews rated their trip to Auschwitz: ##**They all gave it one star.**"

"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."

"What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record."

"Wife: ok, you have free reign to decide on all household decisions today... Me: *too shocked to move or decide anything...*"

"Me: Strengths? I never vomit when I'm nervous. *vomits* HR guy: Umm...you sure about that? Me: Oh yeah, yeah. I'm just super drunk right now"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics? Walking"

"Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend."

"Your garbage disposal eats better than most of the world."