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Joke of the Day

"I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!"

Next Joke
 
"Would you like to hear a joke? Donald Trump"
"Heard a good joke from a patient today. (Xpost from /r/nursing) Two inmates standing around. One lets out a loud fart and the other says, ""Hey, that sounds about my size."" Had to share..."
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?"
"Question starts with a Q... ...and ends with an E."
"You had me at cello."
"An Englishmen, a Scotsman and a Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go."
"What do James Cameron and M. Night Shamylan have in common? Icy dead people."
"Just a heads up guys, M. Night Shyamalan dug a hole in my backyard and has been filming Mark Wahlberg yelling at it for 6 months now."
"I found an alternative to Pokemon GO. It's this new game called Grindr. I haven't tried it yet, but I hear its this thing where you go around, trying to capture bears."