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Joke of the Day

"Do you know the difference between me and eggs? Eggs get laid."

"Want to hear a good Nirvana joke? Nevermind."

"What kind of bird can write? A penguin."

"What's the fastest way to piss off a Starwars fanboy?"

"I will step on an old woman's face to get to my computer to thumbs down a bad song on Pandora."

"Did i tell you that someone hit me over the head with a power tool the other day? Minding my own business, then next minute BOSCH."

"How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I skipped the intro."

"Did you hear about the bird that lost all of its feathers in a volcano? It was moltin'."

"What do gay zombies say? Heeeeyyyyrrrrrrraaarrrrrgggggg."

"Sex is like chess You gotta know in which position to put the queen"