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Joke of the Day

"ON THE INTERNET : Ughh.. I hate people so much.. APPLYING FOR JOB : I love working with people and I am very sociable"

"IHTGYATSWTFIM = I had to Google your acronym to see what the fuck it meant."

"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here"

"Dirty Joke My teacher tells me there are 7 wonders of the world. I think there are only 2. *Vaginas and tits*"

"Me...Lazy? Don't get me started!"

"Revenge is a dish whose photos I haven't yet seen on Instagram."

"Yay! The healthcare reform bill passed! Waitress, a round of celebratory abortions for all my friends!"

"I contemplated suicide earlier. Then I thought about homicide. Finally I thought f*ck it, I hate crosswords, I'm off to the pub."

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"My buddy and I started a mountaineering business 6 months ago, and things haven't been going so well. We may have peaked early."