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Joke of the Day

"My friends hosting a charity night for people who can't reach orgasms I told him i'll let him know if i can't come."

"What do dyslexic soldiers get after war? PDTS"

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right.... Me: yes, if I thought you were right, we"

"Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you"

"What is a depressed person's favorite outdoor activity? Cryaking. I'm sorry."

"My lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday I'ts nice, but i think they misunderstood me when i said: i wanna watch"

"What time is it? http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss This is an animated joke. I hope a video submission flies here."

"What is Peyton Manning's favorite Counting Crows song? Omaha"

"It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf."

"I hate when interviewers ask ""why do you want this job?"" So many responses run through my head, but I don't want to sound unprofessional by saying ""because I need the fucking money."""