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Joke of the Day

"""Send me the link"" means ""do not ask me to sit here for 6 minutes and watch this shit now."""

"What does walking a tight rope and receiving a blow job from your mother-in-law have in common? In both cases it is strongly advisable to not look down"

"Admit it.... Sometimes you just wish you could read your crushes mind to find out how they feel about you?"

"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Just made this up. What did one cannibal-rapist say to the other? ""Let's do lunch."""

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"What do Mexican people use to keep warm? Faheaters."

"Guy at the gym had ""True Gentleman"" tattooed on his arm. I was about to make fun of him, but he held the door for me as I left. Great guy."

"My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere."

"Only a coward brings a gun to a swordfight, But only a moron brings a sword to a gunfight."