197712

Joke of the Day

"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."

"A Chicken and an Egg are sitting in bed. The Egg looks depressed; the Chicken satisfied. Not much of a joke, but it solves which came first."

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should've cooked it on aloha temperature.."

"How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power? ""This isn't just a campaign, this is a political *revolution!*"""

"What is a zombie's favorite restaurant? Subway: East flesh!"

"An obgyn was fired from his job So decided to become a comedian, but he failed at that as well. I guess he just always screwed up the delivery..."

"Q: What kind of house is easiest to pick up? A: A light house."

"Next time my 5 y/o says ""Daddy, guess what?"", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years."

"What did people call Putin after he lost an arm? Amputin"

"The New 20 dollar bill I have a serious question for you guys. If a woman gets payed $.75 for every dollar a man gets payed, does that mean that the $20 dollar bill will only be worth $15?"