197555

Joke of the Day

"Cows What do you call a cow on no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs? Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs? Your mom."

"When I'm sad I go to the fabric softener aisle of a store & imagine I'm in the clean mountains surrounded by blue sparkles and wild flowers."

"Hi, I'm a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars"

"An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50."

"Give a man a fish, sickening him with botulism which spreads rapidly, people begin dying in droves, STACKS OF CORPSES BLOT OUT THE SUN."

"the worst part about a shark eating your legs off is when you realise your wallet was in your pocket"

"What do you call a man with a toe on his knee? Tony"

"What is blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, black, brown, and gray? A box of crayons."

"Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea? Because they drink it before it's cool."

"What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair."