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Joke of the Day

"Facebook: People trying to save the world one uneducated post at a time"

"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."

"Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!"

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open."

"For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake."

"I'm still waiting for my knight in shining sarcasm."

"Is it just me or are there other personal pronouns?"

"What's an English teacher's favourite cereal? Synonym Grahams"

"How can you tell if your water is about to break? Someone from Flint puts a glass between your legs"

"Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids... ...shame really, they would have loved a kitten."