197415

Joke of the Day

"2 grams for $40??? Son, you are getting soooooo ripped off. Go see Jermaine on Fremont St. Tell him Your Mother sent you."

"""That 'Hanglider' bird is a tough sonofabitch..."" ""... I had to shoot it 5 times before he let the man go"""

"Some people came to my door asking for donations to the local pool. So I went and poured them a glass of water."

"Losing it guys vs girls (NSFW) ""Losing your virginity to an asshole"" is an unfortunate event for girls but a damn good one for guys."

"I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend."

"when someone says 'your flys down' it implies that 1) i have a fly and 2) hes having a bad day"

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, real men aren't afraid of the dark"

"I asked my mate what he wanted for dinner He said he fancies a Chinese. I said I didn't ask you about your love life I asked what you wanted to eat."

"All the guys in working out photos look like they're straining or in pain, but there's lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy."

"Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them."