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Joke of the Day

"An old man told me this old joke: What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store? ""Hello, ladies"""

Next Joke
 
"Today's assignment: Walk up to people with a manila envelope and ask them ""Have you seen this person?"" and pull out a picture of yourself"
"Q: Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne? A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes."
"What does a Gynecologist and Pizza Delivery guy have in common? Both get to smell the goods but neither get to eat it. (A straight rip from /r/funny with my apologies)"
"Did you know Japanese goddess Izanami was a Nazi? Just read her name backwards!"
"Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president"
"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors."
"eer booze and fun!' 'A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal ""What's your pleasure?"" The seal replies ""Anything but Canadian Club."""
"What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground? They know people will blow them."
"My best joke today is.... r/news sub count. Literally just go there and press f5"