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Joke of the Day

"what is a vegetable's favorite singer? elvis parsley what is a fly's favorite singer? gnat king cole"

"Pedophiles... ... Are fucking immature assholes."

"Breastfeeding your infant is important. But what about the wings and thighs? Should I just leave the whole KFC bucket in the crib?"

"What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ? Fowl play !"

"What do people say when they eat very tasty jam? ""Jaaaam,this is good"""

"[opens jar of olives and pours them in my garden] ""Now grow to be a restaurant"""

"What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team."

"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."

"I had a break-through this morning... I should probably buy thicker toilet paper."

"What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!"