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Joke of the Day

"what is a vegetable's favorite singer? elvis parsley what is a fly's favorite singer? gnat king cole"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? [Can be disturbing] The New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"Why should you never bring your Pokemon cards into the washroom with you? They might Pikachu."

"Did you hear about the neutron that robbed the bank? It wasn't charged."

"What's worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A baby stapled to ten trees."

"Two animals taking a test were caught copying off each other... When one accuses the other... ""He's the CHEETAH!"" ""What? You're LION!"""

"What joke is the darkest? Fire away please! I want to hear it all!"

"I think I may be allergic to women everytime they touch my penis the damn thing just swells up like crazy."

"I asked a comedian what performing in the Soviet Union was like. Apparently, back then, it was all about the execution."

"Mufasa means King. So their parents literally named their sons King and Garbage. No wonder Scar wanted everyone dead."