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Joke of the Day

"The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits. She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory."

"If your nose runs and your feet smell... You might be upside down. Heard from ""The Sopranos"""

"""Marriage is like a ring of fire"", my dad used to tell me. "" The men on the outside want to be in it, and the ones on the inside want to get out of it """

"Ever notice that a European male tourist dresses like a 7th grade girl from the suburbs? Graphic tees and Hollister jeans allllll day."

"Has anyone ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they"

"Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill."

"Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% battery left"

"Facepalm? Is that FaceTime for blind people?"

"So I want to write a letter to a deer... I just don't know how to start it off!"

"Two potatos are in an oven.. .. One potato says to the other, ""It's hot in here"" Then the other potato says, ""Oh my god, a talking potato!"""