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Joke of the Day
"Want to Hulu and chill? There's like 90 seconds of ads so you won't miss any of the show."
Next Joke
"If I got a dime every time I exaggerated... I'd have a jillion, gazillion bucks!"
"""Doctor, doctor! I need a new pair of glasses!"" ""I can see that - this is a hotdog stand."""
"What did the chinese pirate say? Awwlllll!"
"Me: How do Minions wear overalls? They don't even have shoulders Therapist: I meant is there anything else bothering you about your marriage"
"Meet my cat, Hemingway. And my two dogs, Faulkner and Whitman. I know what books are. Ah yes, my macaw approaches. His name is Literature"
"What is Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's favorite facebook game? Candy Kush."
"I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses. I just put two and two together."
"I finally got my shit together. It's pretty gross. Wanna see?"
"What's the cheapest meat on the Market? Dear balls. They're under a buck."