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Joke of the Day

"Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ? Boy monster: Yes - it's green and wrinkly !"

"Why are under-endowed men likely to get lucky with homeopathic physicians? Because they like their dicks vanishingly small ..."

"Why weren't the baked beans heating up? They were just chilling"

"I thought my son would be glad and appreciate that I got him a trampoline But nooo, all he does is sit and cry in his wheelchair all day"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"

"I heard England won the Super Bowl... But what would I know, I'm not a big fan of tennis anyways."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on shit punchlines. The librarian directs him to the correct section."

"[breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] ""Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."""