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Joke of the Day

"I wish 'You idiot.' was an appropriate way to end a work email."

"By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden?"

"If Amy Winehouse complained a lot... She'd be Amy Whinehouse"

"[g/friends dad] ""who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?"" Me - [say a real name say a real name] ""Football Man"""

"I bet Jane didn't know Tarzan swings both ways."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"Cheesy Christmas Jokes? Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself"

"""I high fived a shark, and then we ate burritos."" - Martin Luther King Jr.'s other dream."

"YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE! An enthusiastic optician throwing dozens of pairs of glasses out into a crowd."

"I saw a documentary on how they make jeans... It was riveting."