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Joke of the Day

"PERSON: Want a slice? ME: No thanks, trying to eliminate bread P: From your diet? M [having sworn to destroy all bread]: Sure...from my diet"

"Fidel Castro's last words Fidel Castro's final words were: ""revive me I have the ray gun"""

"What would happen if pigs went on strike? They'd form pigget lines."

"Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada. He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist."

"Tell me about your time in the pornography business It's a schlong story."

"I used to be into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia... ... until I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"What do you get when you play a country song backwards? Your wife back, your dog back, your house back..."

"Why do people buy fruit already cut up? There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting."

"Flavor Flav turns 51 today. He'll spend a quiet day at home, still resting up after a weekend of moving clocks forward."

"I'm drinking some pretty average tea... It's Mediocritea."