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Joke of the Day

"What's a Hater, Homophobe, Racist, Bigot, and Sexist? Any conservative winning an argument with a liberal, Democrat or 'progressive'."

"My favorite new song is either that one from the Samsung commercial, or the one from the Budweiser commercial."

"What did the leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip."

"I am the best juggler in the world. But I don't have the balls to show it to you."

"Why didn't Hitler drink whisky? Because when he drank whisky, he got *mean*."

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association!"

"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"

"Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells."

"What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have? A DOH-berman!"

"If Edward Snowden worked at a grocery market.. *Loudspeaker* Paging Mr. Edward Snowden, Mr. Ed Snowden Constitutional breech on isle 1 & 4 Will Mr. Snowden please inform the public accordingly"