196825

Joke of the Day

"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'"

"My Asian friend said he had erection anxiety... I said: ""what do you mean?"" He said: ""I don't want to see the dick rise to power."""

"I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. Man, I just can't put this thing down."

"In Connecticut it is illegal... To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else"

"What do you call Zombie Japanese Chefs? the Woking Dead"

"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."

"I was buying milk in a plastic bottle and the guy behind me was buying milk in a glass bottle and the power of his judgement turned me vegan"

"I just yelled 'Jayden' at the mall and now I'm a mom to like 20 kids."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intense."

"The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does it's hopscotch."