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Joke of the Day

"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."

"Q: What was the most flexiest dinosaur? A: Tyrannosaurus Flex."

"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""

"What is my favorite street sign? Slow children."

"In Russian thanksgiving, Turkey shoots you."

"Indians are better with computers because they are the 1's who invented 0's"

"3 hours until I get to pretend I know how to do 6th grade math homework....."

"[in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy."

"Have you heard of the John Denver omelet? It's just like a regular Denver omelet, but it's served upside down in seawater."

"Thankful that Americans have one day a year when they can overindulge."