198722
Joke of the Day
"Even the stick figure woman on my wife's back window has a headache."
Next Joke
"Why'd God make women pretty but dumb? They're pretty, so men will like them. They're dumb, so they will like men. Courtesy of the great movie Ip Man 3 which I watched yesterday."
"Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar with P.E: I came."
"The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph."
"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because its the scenter."
"My girlfriend used Vaseline on a handjob today. I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off."
"""You're not leaving the table until you finish it, young man!"" --termite mom"
"Hey thanks to whoever told me that Cubby Broccoli invented broccoli, I just looked like a real dipshit in front of my parents"
"Damn Girl, did you just get in a water balloon fight or are you happy to see me?"
"I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game."