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Joke of the Day

"During a routine physical the Doctor said, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" asked the patient. ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical!"""

"I don't bite the hand that feeds me. I lightly suck the thumb."

"My week is just five days of wishing I had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing I had something to do."

"Mama Pig has a great new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor."

"Warner Bros. before Warner Hos."

"We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're going to take them to an IKEA instead."

"Friday is just Monday with tits."

"we regret to inform you that you've hit rock bottom"

"I like my women how I like my whiskey....... Age 12 and all mixed up in coke."

"Most people think that being in your 50s is now classed as the new 30s. Take my word for It, the police speed cameras think differently"