196740

Joke of the Day

"How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!"

"Cashier: ""Look at all this candy! You're going to have a lot of happy kids this Halloween"" Me: ""It's Halloween?"""

"I used to work in a helium factory... But I left, because I didn't like the way they spoke to me... [Read the second part with a helium voice.]"

"More like March Sadness."

"I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90's TV"

"""It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game."" -Losers"

"What do Mexican Zombies eat? Re-fried brains."

"I hate people who don't use the right ""your"" its either you're or your. there idiots"

"Where there are 4 irishmen.... You always find a 5th"

"Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was ""what do they know that I don't?"""