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Joke of the Day

"I hate people who don't use the right ""your"" its either you're or your. there idiots"

"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""

"If Lance Armstrong can't keep his awards he should just take his ball and go home."

"What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster? Ouiiiiiiii!"

"What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam."

"BREAKING: Pluto is once again a regular planet. ""It was always huge & full sized!"" said one dwarf planet scientist with a fake mustache."

"How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Monkeys screw in trees."

"DMX is in jail Because X didn't give it to them."

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 3am!!!! 3 in the morning can you believe that?! Luckily, I was still awake playing my drums."

"What did Hitler say when he got a 10 kill streak? Get reiched."