196699

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road ? A mutt in a rut !"

"Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph."

"Has the passing of the holidays left you feeling alone in the world, unloved and depressed? Don't worry, Valentine's Day is coming right up!"

"""Daddy will u tuck me in?:)"" ""Ok"" *tucks him in* ""Daddy sing me a song:)"" ""Ok"" *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H"

"Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family."

"Is it official now that Glenn Frey is running on empty? Too soon I know, I'm so sorry! My friend just said this and I couldn't help but laugh."

"This looks like a job for.. *I rip open my jacket* Jacket Repair Man! *I sew my jacket back together*"

"I watched a porn where the guy had a thing for older women. It was a coming of age story."

"How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store."

"If your girlfriend bleeds the first time you have sex with her, tell her to get used to it. In a few years time, she'll bleed every month. ohhh shit. facial."