196547
Joke of the Day
"What's a Brit's favorite baked good? cake."
Next Joke
"1. Get preg 2. Transfer ur soul to fetus using Satanic alchemy 3. Give birth to yourself 4. Old body dies 5. Be a baby"
"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."
"We get it poets: things are like other things"
"Do you think horses feel remorse? They have such long faces."
"Nobody gets treated worse than a McDonald's worker who gets an order wrong. ""Um this was SUPPOSED to be a LARGE fry! UnFUCKINGbelievable!"""
"11: Dad, what's your spirit animal? Mine's a tiger. Me: Remember that chubby mouse named Gus in the baby-tee from Cinderella? 11: ..."
"How many good deeds do you need to be called a superhero? Because If it's one or less, I'm totally there."
"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his butt"
"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"