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Joke of the Day

"Why don't we let Google Chrome drive? Because it crashes all the time. *Disclaimer - shameless chrome user*"

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"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat"
"What has a hazelnut in every bite? SQUIRREL SHIT!"
"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles."
"Commented on a woman's french manicure. ""I like your tips"" ...let's just say she didn't hear me correctly."
"I usually tell self-deprecating jokes But I'm not very good at it"
"Actually, Kara, love is an illusion created by chemical reactions. The most powerful force in the world is the invisible hand of the market."
"It's not often people compliment my parking.... but the other day, I came back from work and saw a piece of paper on may car that said ""Parking Fine"". That was nice of them!"
"Jokes on jokes Why did the cabbage whistle? Because it saw the salad dressing"
"""I find pleasure in the little things""... ...Said the pedofile to the court."