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Joke of the Day

"Just did my holiday shopping. I've got so many shorts now; I'm swimming in them!"

"What do you call a Mexican that lost his car? Carlos"

"I was going to make a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen but NaH"

"Jaws (1975): A shark is murdered on his vacation."

"I can tell these $80 Nikes are going to help me get from the couch to the bathroom six times a day a lot faster."

"When I told my friend how my dad drowned in the longest river on earth, he didn't belive me. He was in denial."

"I'm planning on opening a store that sells string instruments for children. I'm calling it 'Kiddie Fiddlers'."

"I'm shit at remembering names. But isn't every Tom, Rick, and Larry"

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

"[sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] ""Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds."""