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Joke of the Day

"What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated."

"[holding my aunts stupid idiot baby] what sound does a cow make ""moo!"" good now a dog ""woof woof!"" 2 for 2. now...WHERES THAT MISSING PLANE"

"Shout out to the creepy guy sitting in your bedroom chair who turns into clothes as soon as you turn on the lights."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"

"Ok you with pneumonia, go sit between the perfectly healthy lady and the guy with the blood shooting out of his leg and wait. -hospitals"

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, natural things... that money can buy. -Homeless man quoting Steve Martin."

"My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective... ...and that ""we should split up"" ""Good idea"", I said, ""that way we can cover more ground"""

"What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road? Dodged-a-Rango"

"""LBJ"" was a president... Not a Spanish term for Hump Day activities."

"I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her. It's called ""Bae Watch""."