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Joke of the Day

"It's been the ""longest week ever"" for Janet on facebook, a woman that I know for a fact works 40 hours has been on facebook for 37 of them"

"I think I hear burglars dear. Are you awake? No!"

"What did God say when he saw the first black person? Ooops, I burnt one!"

"A ship full of red paint crashes into a island... The sailors were marooned."

"Why non-smokers don't take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me"

"What were the protestors outside Erin Andrew's court house shouting today? White Nudes Matter!"

"My brother was in a car accident yesterday and lost his left arm and left leg. Well actually, he's not my brother... he's my half-brother. He's all right now."

"Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that's going to treat it with the respect it deserves."

"HR: Did you call Brenda fat? Me: No. I told her that based on her size, she should be more jolly. HR... Me: Big difference."

"My computer crashed. Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening."