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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

"How to pick up a woman at Walmart. Very slowly and team lift with your legs."

"[my cell phone rings] ME (a person who pays a monthly fee to allow this): Ugh why is this happening"

"If you're having second thoughts, you're two ahead of most people."

"Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops? Bloody horrible I said ""Put your bikini top back on"""

"What do you call a spontaneous man named Lee? spontaneously"

"""What do we call this war?"" ""The World War?"" ""No. There's already been 1 of those"" ""Uh this is a world war, too"" *the streetlights explode*"

"What do you call a fish in orbit? Trouterspace."

"What do you call a waterfall which causes erections? Viagra Falls"

"I was going to make an anal joke... Butt fuck it."