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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry, but I absolutely detest law firms that do pro bono work. I fucking hate U2."

"I had to get a drug test today.. I got pissed."

"Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food"

"I just saw a man pick up a screaming child and take her to his van. Man, kids are getting carried away these days."

"what do bad sex and the heimlich maneuver have in common? Both start out with lots of excitement, but then everyone is just relieved when its over"

"I love going climbing with my friends... They never fail to let me down."

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."

"Did you hear the joke about butter? No? I guess it didn't spread then"

"What's the biggest Jewish conundrum? Free Bacon!"

"How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds? He broke up with his girlfriend."