196280
Joke of the Day
"Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street."
Next Joke
"Being a grown up is throwing something at the trash can, missing, then actually going over and picking it back up."
"If every house in Mexico isn't perfectly landscaped and each bed isn't impeccably made then what in the fuck?!"
"Two chimps are in the bath One says ""ooh oooh eek eek"" The other one says ""well put some cold water in then!"""
"Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar... The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die."
"Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist."
"NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that's it - from this day forward, NO MORE READING!"
"Tonight's Democratic debate"
"Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it."
"Read aloud I have a soft spot for damsels in disdress. What dress? Disdress or dat dress *Ba dum tish*"