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Joke of the Day

"How do you castrate a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."

"There is one good thing about pedophiles... its that they drive slowly when going past a school."

"What do you call people with big ears? Nothing, they might hear you"

"Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me. Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you? Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?"

"So, 50 Cent is accepting Bitcoin for his new album. Which is all well and good, but if he really wanted to court the cryptocurrency community, he should change his stage name to 0.0007745 ."

"When i die, i want to die like my grandfather did, in his sleep not screaming like the other passengers in the car."

"Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve."

"My 8yo son spent 45 minutes perusing and closely inspecting the 31 flavors to finally decide on ""chocolate."""

"What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common? The both came in a little behind"