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Joke of the Day

"Apparently my friends think I'm paranoid. I fucking knew it."

"REPUBLICAN (running for office): We need to make haircuts safer! REPUBLICAN (in office): Haircuts will only be done using chainsaws."

"The owner of my favorite restaurant was arrested for beastiality That explains why Jerk Chicken and Pulled Pork were the only two items on the menu"

"How can you tell if a woman is bi-polar? She works at two different strip clubs."

"Her: I told you! Two beers and you're home at 10! Him: Oh, it was this way around."

"Can someone please help me to spell misogynistic? A man preferably"

"When are minorities not minorities? When you look at crime statistics."

"I was shopping with my 4yo the other day... when he suddenly exclaimed infront of the hot cashier that ""Daddy has a penis!"" I was so embarrased. Big penis honey, big penis."

"For all you non-native English speakers out there... ""Read"" is pronounced like ""lead"", while ""read"" is pronounced like ""lead""."

"Did you hear about the baker who got electrocuted last week? He stood on a bun and a currant shot up his leg."