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Joke of the Day

"I changed my night club's name to Erectile Dysfunction for one night Nobody came... If ya know what I mean (God, please don't punish me for saying this)"

"No one ever taught me about erections. So I had to learn the hard way."

"Wife ""WHY ARE THERE MUDDY FOOTPRINTS ALL OVER THE HALL?"" [Me while trying to push a zebra up into the attic] Must be that damn dog again..."

"How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?"

"""I prefer their older stuff"" -Archaeologists"

"Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back."

"I was arrested for killing a black man and charged with impersonating an officer"

"Plays tetris. Gets a circle."

"in hindsight, ms. frizzle taking a bus of children inside of an unsuspecting person was not ok. one of those rascals peed in his body."

"TV that gets louder to compensate for when you are chewing."