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Joke of the Day

"I was at the pub the other day when the landlord walked up to me, handed me a phone and said, ""It's for you, sir"" ""Thanks mate,"" I said, took it and walked away. What a generous lad."

Next Joke
 
"The new strip club's sign said 'open to the public'. Until my friends stole the L."
"I can't think of a better time to drop dead than at a New Year's Eve party right after everyone yells ""...1!"""
"What did Ciderella say when she got to the Ball? ""*-Gag*-"""
"My cat jumped off me unexpectedly, so I get it, Europe. I get it."
"Wife: [looking at bank statement] what's this huge charge from Clones R Us? Me: [sends group text to 7 other me's] she's on to us"
"Hey girl, are you a fan? Because you're obsessive and loud"
"SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street."
"Long arm of the law Will have different meaning when Trump becomes president"
"Apparently ""What inning is it?"" is not a valid Football related question. Sports are hard."