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Joke of the Day

"Step 1: Stay up late Step 2: Get up early Step 3: Hate the Earth"

"What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test? Drool"

"If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes says, ""I think not,"" and vanishes."

"With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity."

"I sometimes pretend to hate Nickelback more than I do so you will like me."

"If I ever lose a hand I'll replace it with a single nunchuck on a chain"

"Before the internet, it was way harder to google stuff"

"There's really no sense in being pessimistic... It's not going to work, anyway."

"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."