100012

Joke of the Day

"I have this song in my head I haven't heard in years. I'm pretty sure it's called ""Don't Speak""? On second thought, there's no doubt in my mind."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the eleven."

"What file does a Knight store his music on? A **MIDI**-val file."

"Help free the reindeer from sleighvery."

"[interview] ""How would you describe your people skills?"" ME: I tend to drive others away. ""That's great! Welcome to Uber."""

"2016 got me like I had no expectations, still didn't meet my expectations."

"Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch? Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!"

"How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years? Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!"

"What's a policeman's favorite gaming console? Wii-U, Wii-U, Wii-U!"

"What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet? A thousand dogs."