19594
Joke of the Day
"Does your camera know you've been using it to look like a whore?"
Next Joke
"Me: What are you doing in your pajamas still? 3 year old: Eating frosting. Me: Fair enough."
"Just re-watched the lesbian scene in Black Swan. For the articles."
"Because the unspeakable can also happen to men I bought myself a rape alarm. I'll be fucked if this thing doesn't work."
"My first escort... was a Ford"
"So I told my secretary.... to go buy me a fighting stick, but the best he could find was a walking stick. Honestly you can't get the staff."
"its 2013 and mcdonalds still doesnt serve breakfast all day"
"Pretentious? Moi?"
"Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck."
"Is it that you think I can't eat this rotisserie chicken with my bare hands while driving 75 mph, or that I won't? Either way, you're wrong."